How To Buy A Boat
Humorous look at the tactics of boat salesmen.
John has decided to purchase a boat. He has now entered the realm of the boat salesmen, a unique and slightly diverse species. On his journey through this world, John will encounter three breeds of this fascinating species. Join us as we accompany John into "The Boating Zone!"
The first breed that John will encounter is the Shark. The Shark spies John the moment John’s foot crosses the showroom’s threshold. The Shark approaches with a toothy smile plastered across his face. He talks non-stop and is only interested in selling John a boat. He tells John that if he purchases the boat from him today, he can get him a HUGE factory rebate. While the shark continues to talk John’s ear off, he writes up the figures on the boat that John has been looking at. He ushers John into his office and proceeds to draw up a sales contract. This is happening far too quickly for our friend John and he says to Mr. Shark. The Shark acts as if he offended, but he continues to increase the pressure; after all, what will it take for John to buy his boat today? John escapes with his skin and his wallet, but just barely.
The next place John visits is a quiet marina. He looks around at its boats and get a clear idea on what he likes and what he doesn’t like. John looks around for a salesman, but he doesn’t see one. Walking into the main office, John sees a pleasant looking fellow who introduces himself and asks how John’s day is going. He sympathizes with John’s experience with the Shark and tells John that he really isn’t’ there for the money, he would just like to sell enough to "get by". This breed is The Buddy. He will slowly try to drain John of his energy. The hours pass as they walk the boat yard looking at various boats. Not once has the Buddy written up any figures for any boat. He asks John out for drinks that evening, saying that they can work the figures there. John politely declines, knowing that it will be days before John can close a deal with this breed. Besides, John already know Mr. Buddy’s life story from their conversation while walking around the marina, how much more inane chatter can John endure?
John steps into the next boat yard warily, but the breed of salesman that inhabits this marina can see this wariness already, so he keeps his distance. John has walked into the lair of the Chameleon. John is given enough time to look around and narrow down his selections before he is approached by the salesman. They chat amicably, but the Chameleon doesn’t give out any personal information to John. He does however find out where John went to college, what John likes to do in his spare time, and what John does for a living. Like the Buddy, John feels comfortable with the Chameleon. The Chameleon sense that the time has come to go for the kill; he starts writing figures for John, adding in all sorts of accessories that would have made John scream highway robbery not twenty minutes ago. Like the Shark, the chameleon closes the deal quickly and while John feels like he got a great deal, he has fallen victim to the most skilled of the salesmen, the Chameleon.
Now that John is the proud owner of a boat, and has come to the end of his Journey; he is very familiar with the quirky species, the boat salesmen. What will you do if you encounter, the Shark, the Buddy, or the Chameleon, what will you do? Probably buy the boat.