You Are At: AllSands Home > Lifestyles > Women > Married to the military
Yes, I am married to the military. It is not married to me however as I was not issued to my husband by the government. Military spouses have to joke about this sometimes as it gets us through those aggravating times. If you are a military spouse you know what I am talking about, if not, read on and you will learn.

Being married to the military can be both the best and worst things that ever happen to you. I have made many friends, seen much of our beautiful country, and reached such high points from being so proud not only of my husband, but of all the men and women who give so much to protect our country. However, I drag my kids from one base to another, have to find new doctors and dentists every two years, say good-bye to my friends, and am left alone when my husband deploys. I have learned to be more independent and both mother and father. At times though you are treated like a second-class citizen not only by the military, but also by neighbors in the many communities you live in.

After ten years of being married to the military, I have grown quite a bit. I began feeling like I was better than others because of who I was married to, regardless of others' feelings. I have since become slightly more patient and besides being very proud of my husband, I am not affected much by his work. I have fallen back to the old saying, “Treat others as you would like to be treated.”

Military healthcare can be good and bad, just like civilian healthcare. Again, learning patience and not being pushed around can be helpful. I have actually been pretty impressed by military healthcare. Recently, emphasis has been more on keeping patients healthy rather than worry about the amount of money being spent. Unfortunately this is not true in all situations.

Military housing is yet another key issue. Many areas do not have a sufficient amount of government quarters for the military population. In some instances, the service member has to move their family to less than adequate civilian housing sometimes at astronomical rental prices. Not only can the housing be run down in order to afford the rent, but there is also the consideration of safety in the neighborhood and good schools. We have all heard recently how things are supposed to change with more money going to housing, I guess now we just have to wait and see.

Being married to the military has not been a horrible experience for me. It has been a life changing experience. There are certainly many changes I would like to see made, but I truly believe changes can be made in many things. For those who are married to the military- keep up the terrific work, remember there are many of us out there, you are not alone!