What Is Marriage; The Myths
Marriage is always getting a bum rap. Marriage is a wonderful union that should be portrayed in a positive light. Here are 5 Myths about marriage dispelled.
Marriage is always getting a bum rap. Jokes like "it's the old ball and chain" are all too common. More people need to come to bat for the sanctity of marriage. Marriage is a wonderful union that should be portrayed in a positive light. Here are 5 myths about marriage dispelled.
1-Marriage always gets monotonous and boring.
False. Marriages don't get boring, people get boring. Change is a fact of life. People change and grow, so there is no way for a marriage to get boring if the two are constantly changing. The secret is to learn to change and grow together, not apart. The magic that happens when a couple is first married and in their newlywed stages does not last forever. But it never goes away completely. It will simmer, then ignite intensely from time to time. It sort of changes from a hot and heavy passionate roaring fire to a more subtle, even-keeled, warm, glowing, smaller fire. You get out of something what you put into it. Don't wait until you FEEL romantic to do romantic things. Do what you feel are romantic things, the romantic feelings WILL follow. The past holds the key to what attracted you to each other in the first place.
2-Everybody gets fat and unattractive.
False. This is simply another generalization that holds no merit. There are just as many overweight single people as there are married. Conversely, there are just as many thin married people as there are single. Married women can remain as fit, beautiful and attractive as they were before they were married. Why do you think there are so many married women getting "hit on" out there? Men and women can and should continue or develop a regular exercise routine, preferably together, as well as eat a healthy balanced low fat diet. Many people maintain their same weight as when they were first married. Others lose weight and say they became healthier and more fit than they have ever been in their lives.
3-One person could never be enough to satisfy sexually, another person's need forever.
False. A woman's passion and sexual arousal and desires grow as she gets older. When her husband is monogomous, desiring only her, it makes her feel very passionate toward him, increasing her sexual desires and perhaps her sexual capabilities with and for him alone. As a couple gets to know each other exclusively, they feel more comfortable and familiar, and are thus, able to open up to more variety and experimentation in their sex life, which can be very rewarding and exciting for them.
4-Everybody fools around, infidelity is inevitable.
False. This is simply not true. For infidelity to occur, there has to be something already lacking within the marriage union. His or her needs are not being met. Men and women both have basic needs which are most important to them and which are DIFFERENT from one another. Often a woman gives a man what SHE needs, not what HE needs and visa versa. If a husband loves his wife and is committed to her, then by meeting her needs, he can be assured that she will not stray. The same holds true for the wife. Temptation is rampit in this day and age. But those in the marriage union who are dedicated to their life long love partners, must resist temptations and focus on channeling all of love and desire and passion toward their spouse. Also, at one point or another, in a long term relationship, such as marriage is, there may be a questioning of feelings or commitment between spouses. Sometimes you have to feel the fear of the possible death of a relationship and loss of that person, to FEEL your feelings again, sort of like a wake up call. To know that you could lose them, makes you realize again, how much you couldn't live without them.
5-Marriage is a ball and chain, a burden, holding you back.
False. Marriage is a partnership, but it should be interdependent, no co-dependent. You are two individuals, but together as one. This does not mean that you feed off of each other like leeches, bringing each other down and usurping all of each other's resources as human beings. It means that, as individuals, you are filled up in and of yourself, then you bring to the marriage covenant all that you have, and offer it to the one you love. You freely give to one another out of love, not take from one another, selfishly. As the wife, your partner cannot fulfill all of your needs. You may need God for spiritual matters and female friends for girl matters. As the husband the same holds true for spirtual matters, perhaps work for fulfilling personal goals, and male friends for competitiveness. Couples should do things together, perhaps have common interests or activities, such as tennis or golf or art, movies etc. But they should also have friends of the same sex. Men need other men to do the male bonding thing. Competitive sports are also important to a man. Women love to talk. Women need other women to release emotional stress and bond. Interdependence is a vital key to a strong and healthy marriage.