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Anyone can get divorced when things get tough in their relationship today. However, not everyone knows how to stay married. I've spoken to several couples who have been married for over forty years and asked them their secrets for success. Here's what I learned!

Love is not disposable. If you take your marriage vows seriously, then you will be willing to work through difficult problems. Divorce will not be seen as a solution!

Respect is not just for other people. If you love someone, treat them with respect. Don't volunteer your mate for anything, without consulting with them first. Never "dis" your mate to others, or in front of others. Treat your spouse the way you want to be treated.

Trust is essential. If you lose your spouse's trust, be willing to work hard to regain it. Allow each other time for personal pursuits. If you can trust one another, then time apart should not be a problem. Fidelity should be discussed. An affair does not have to be the end of a marriage, it can lead to a renewed love affair between husband and wife. Infidelity is usually a sign of something wrong within the marriage. Correct the problem, but don't throw the baby out with the bath water!

Romance should not die at the altar. All relationships evolve. Passion tends to subside. This doesn't mean you can't date your mate occaisonally! Make time for each other and rekindle the flames of love.

Make a financial plan that you both can live with. Money can cause big problems. Don't let dollars lead to divorce.

Discuss parenting techniques. Don't undermind each other's authority with your children.

Be patient. Perservere. Be polite. Be affectionate. Remember, your spouse should be your best friend.