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In this world of divorce and remarriage, his, hers and their children, it might be time to rethink the wedding ceremony. For many of us it becomes less a joining together of a man and woman than a reconfiguring of a family.

Here are seven ways to include children of both bride and groom in wedding planning and the ceremony itself so they will recognize they are an integral part of the growing family.

1 - The obvious choice is to ask your children to be flower girls or ring bearers. Small children may enjoy this role, but how do you include older children?
2 - Start with the planning. Ask for help picking the colors. Discuss the reception location and menu for advice from your school age children. Share the decisions on flower arrangements.
3 - Celebrate their musical talents. Do you have a singer, pianist or violinist in your blending family? Invite them to share this talent. Ask older children to read scripture during the ceremony.
4 - Ask your children to honor you by standing with you as your attendants. Choosing dresses and suits according to their individual tastes and your guidance will make lasting memories.
5- Turn it into a family ceremony by adding vows, after the wedding vows, that show you and your new spouse's commitment to the children and to the new family.
6 - Before and after the ceremony, include children in opening gifts, making lists of who gave what, and writing thank yous.
7 - During the reception, turn the first dance of the married couple into a family dance, changing partners so everyone has a chance to dance with mom and step-dad, or dad and step-mom.