You Are At: AllSands Home > Lifestyles > The warning signs for a cheating spouse
If you are in a long-term relationship and you start to feel uneasy or suspicious about your partner’s behaviour, perhaps there is something untoward going on.

The classic signs that a partner is cheating:

1. If your partner suddenly starts to take more pride in his/her appearance. Perhaps he hated exercise and now is a regular at your local gym? Hated clothes shopping but now buys all the latest trends?
2. Suspicious behaviour. Have you caught them out in a lie? Perhaps they are acting strangely, or are shuffling papers about when you walk into a room?
3. Telephone conversations with an unknown person. Late night calls while you are sleeping?
4. Receipts for gifts you’ve never received.
5. The ‘Working late at the office’ excuse starts to spring up more often.
6. Going to the local store to buy cigarettes only to return a few hours later with no cigarettes.
7. Staying out all night.
8. Visiting friends more and more. Spending more time with them than with you.
9. Sneaking around and being secretive. Do some things just not add up?
10. Intuition. 9 times out of ten if you have a nagging doubt or suspicion about something then it is most probably true.

What to do if you think your partner is cheating:

1. The first thing to do is make sure your suspicions are correct. Do some homework. If they say they’ll be at their mother's all Sunday ring her up pretending you’ve forgotten to tell your partner something. If he’s there then this time he wasn’t lying. If he wasn’t you’ll know the truth. If he’s working late ring to see when he’ll be home for dinner.
2. Watch his friends' reactions when you discuss his working late or visiting his mother. If they find it hard to keep a straight face or obviously knew something it will be obvious. Try to make friends with his friends, if they are lying to you as well they’ll find it hard to keep it up.
3. Hide their credit card. If they need it, they’ll ask you where it is and you can then ask what they intend to buy. If they act cagey or angry you know there is more to it.

If you are sure that they are cheating you have to ask yourself what you are going to do about it. You have three choices: Put up with it, walk away or hope that they will give up their lover and stay with you.

It isn’t an easy decision, as it may be the turning point in your life. If you decide to stay you’ll have to agree to forgive and forget and learn to trust your partner again. If this is an impossible feat then maybe the best thing to do is to call it a day. Remember that although you may have hoped to spend the rest of your life with this person, not everything turns out that way you want it to. The relationship may be over, but your life isn’t.

Having children involved in the relationship you cannot just think of yourself. If you are happy to turn a blind eye, then fine, but what about your children? They see and pick up on a lot more than you think. Tension and arguing at home in the other room while the children are watching television isn’t good. They aren’t blind or deaf and can sense when something is wrong.

Is it worth it? In most cases it may vent some anger within you, but does it actually solve anything? After you’ve taken to his/her car with a sledgehammer and managed to do several hundreds of pounds worth of damage you are still in the same position. Although now you’ve probably got a criminal record or case coming to court for criminal damage.