How To Deal With A Defiant Teenager
Raising a teenager, may be harder than raising a child, since there will be many conflits. The best way to solve this problem is to compromise with your defiant teenager.
Adolescence is a period when children must separate from the family. At the same time, they need guidance. Parents need to know how to exercise the right proportions of flexibly and supervision. How parents set limits will influence their success in maintaining them. Below are some suggestions.
1// Parents should have their own standards, but is a good idea to check with other parents, and perhaps the school, about the prevailing views on curfews, use of alcohol and allowances. You can't always trust children to report accurately about regulations in other families.
2// Parents should agree on a course of action and support each other. Kids will use every opportunity to take advantage of difference between parents.
3// Discuss the rules with children. Explain your position calmly, and be prepared to back up your ideas. Remember, things have changed a great deal since you were the age of your child. Listen carefully to your children, particularly to the oldest one, who usually has the toughest time because he or she is the role model for those who follow.
4// Rules must be geared to the ability of the child to handle responsibility. One child of sixteen may be able to manage a flexible curfew, but another may not be mature enough to handle a curfew at all.
5// Avoid hostile confrontation and open warfare. Create an atmosphere where attitudes are expressed, where there is a positive feeling about learning, the intellectual spirit and the arts. The child should feel home is a comfortable place to be, where friends are welcome.
6//Praise the child for what he is doing right before you tell him what he is doing wrong. If a child is told he is bad, he begins to live up to that reputation and is more likely to get into trouble
7//Defiant behavior is most often used to get attention or test limit. Do not impose restrictions you can't enforce. Always give a warning before you punish. Don't make any threats for punishment you're not able or willing to carry out.
*Do not discipline your child in front of other people, including siblings and never in front of his/her friends.