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This could very well be the most feared occurance in a person's life; however, if our time does not come first, we must all go through it.

I was sixteen years old when my father passed away. From losing contests to best friends, to breaking promises and bones, this was indefinately the most traumatic experience of my life. What made matters worse, I had not been around my father in eleven years prior to his death.

I know, you are probably thinking it should not have been very hard for me under the circumstance, but you are wrong. That only made things that much more difficult for me.

I had spent eleven long and lonesome years of my life trying to locate him. I wanted to tell him I loved him, I missed him, and I wanted him to come home. These were heart-felt words I was never able to speak, and he was never able to hear.

It has been almost four years now and I still find myself struggling, knowing now that I will never be able to see him again. It is extremely hard, but I always try new ways to overcome my depression and stress and try to bring his memory closer to my heart, even though I am fully aware that now, he is gone forever.

I talk to him. Sometimes, when I am alone, I talk to him. I tell him things I would say if he were here. The only difference is, he does not answer. I tell him things I have done throughout the day, people I was able to talk to, places I have recently discovered, songs I heard on the radio that reminded me of him and the things we used to do together, and believe it or not, it is actually beginning to help!

I also write poetry about my father and his death. That is something that helps more than anything. Then, I write them down on a seperate sheet of paper, attached to a letter I write to my father, asking him to read over it and let me know if he likes them or not.

There are many many things you can think of to do for yourself that will not bring your mother or father back, but will give you peace of mind. No matter what others may think, do what you have to do. It is your heart and soul the problem lies within and it is you, and only you that can do anything about it.