How To Tell If Someone Is Lying To You
Learn how to tell if someone is lying to you. What are some tips that give someone away if they're lying? How do you spot them?
Believe what I am about to say! The secret to spotting a lie is to pay attention to how it is being told you, not what someone is saying. Here are some situations to illustrate this.
Interviewing job candidates
Everyone stretches the truth in a job interview about previous salaries, jobs and reasons for leaving. Those are things that are easily checked. Detecting smaller lies requires a sharp ear.
An applicant who sounds like he's reciting a speech may not be revealing his real self. Interrupt him with questions that will throw him off. Watch the gestures, shrugs, grimaces, nods or frowns that don't match what the person is really saying. These may suggest that the speaker doesn't really believe what's coming out of his mouth.
Talking to teenagers
It's a part of growing up. Teens lie to get what they want, to avoid punishment, or even just to establish independence. Recognize that this is part of their development. Increase their freedom and autonomy, show a little trust and you reduce that need to lie. But don't underestimate the teen's capacity to lie and the need for your direction.
Watch for nervous movements, twitches, scratching, playing with hair. These are overreactions that are attempts to cover nervousness. If you suspect the lie could be harmful, don't grill him. Tell him you think he's not being truthful and could be harming himself and that the two of you have to work it out.
Everyone wants to look good on a date. Men tend to lie about jobs and income; women deceive about age and personal history. Men's are lies of commission; women's are of omission. Mens say things to make them sound better; women leave things out to give certain impressions.
Never interrogate your date. Detect inaccuracies through subtle means.
a.. With a man - listen to what he says, then later question him about those things. This throws him off guard allowing you to spot inconsistencies.
b.. With a woman - Watch for what she doesn't say. Watch her body language. If she's stiff, tense or leans away she might be holding back. Look for facial or neck flushing in response to questions.
On the phone
On the one hand, you can't visually detect lies; on the other you can concentrate on the language and voice inflection. A phone also makes the liar confident. He doesn't have to face you.
Listen for signs of deceitful language, an endless run of irrelevant and extraneous information, noise, talking more than they should in hopes that any lies will be lost. Slow them down with interrupted questions, make them repeat. When they do slow down, listen how they talk: hesitation, fewer words, grammatical errors, a higher pitch to their voice-all telltale signs.
Now, does anyone believe any of this?