You Are At: AllSands Home > Howto > How to meet people
There are a lot of single people in America. Some people are lonely because they have not found the right person, and a lot of people do not want to invest the time in a relationship. I also recognize that most single people fear rejection and many other single people suffer from shyness, but most of all people have not learned the techniques of being in a relationship and how to have a social life. If you do not put effort into your social life, then you may never have one.

How not to be lonely:

The most important thing you must know about yourself is your interests and your activities. Think about what you are interested in and where people with the same interests as yourself are likely to be found. People often overlook this as seemingly obvious, but this is a very effective strategy.

You may want to take a course in social skills to help you improve your personality and it will also increase your self esteem. Most courses can last up to a month and are not expensive. Some university counseling centers and community mental health clinics offer group workshops on how to approach people, how to overcome shyness and on how not to fear rejection. These courses use role-playing and other methods to help lonely people build confidence and learn to interact successfully with others.

Many people have trouble in relationships because they do not spend time in the right place. Going to clubs and places where there are couples will increase your chance of being lonely. You will need to change your lifestyle to find someone. It is best to go places where they only have singles.

More steps to decrease your loneliness:

The first step that can stop loneliness is approaching a person. There is a wrong and right way to do this. The best way is an indirect approach. Do not ask the person out right away. No one likes a desperate person. When approaching someone you are interested in, is best to find what the person likes and dislikes. Get to know the person's mind and heart rather than their appearance. Take time to get to know the person.

If you are afraid of talking to someone because you are shy, then that will not help you in the dating game. You have to have guts to talk to the person and later on if you become friends with the person, you may ask the person out.

Rejection is not bad, as a matter of fact most people do not say yes the first time you ask them out, and most will say no. You need to have confidence in yourself to accept rejection, put it in your mind that you are asking the person to go out with you and not requesting them to, and in that case they have the right to say yes or no.

This may sound silly, but you need to learn the dating game. Women say no for different reasons than men do. Take a book out on dating and relationships, try Dating for Dummies. It gives many tips on dating.

Try to date someone who works the same shift as you do, if you are with someone and he/she works different shifts than you, then the dating game will not last long.

Do not look for someone who is a workalchoholic, because you will feel lonely regardless.

*Successful relationships are largely a function of proximity and similarity.