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Do you have trouble trying to figure out how to help your girlfriend when she seems to have a problem or is having a bad day? As men, it is our natural tendency to try to fix the problem. We think in “man” terms when trying to help and that can be a problem sometimes. Sometimes all our girlfriend wants is for us to listen. It is the difference between how men and women problem solve and learning that difference can make things go a lot smoother.

Men have always been pretty straight-forward thinkers. We want to think in terms of problem and solution. So when our girlfriend tells us about her bad day and how she is stressing about this and that we automatically try to come up with solutions to all her problems. Unless she asks for solutions, this isn’t what she’s looking for. It’s hard for the male species to comprehend, but usually she just wants you to listen to her. You don’t need to solve her problems or make everything better, just be a good listener. Women process things differently than men do. They work through their problems by talking them out. If she wants solutions from you she will most likely ask you directly. You may feel lazy by just listening and not doing anything, but it means more than you know.

In summary, recognizing the differences in problem solving between men and women will allow you to become a better listener and more helpful to your girlfriend. If she asks for help, than you can give it to her. Otherwise, she will appreciate you for showing that you care and that you are really listening to her.