Dealing With Anger
Dealing with anger is possible, some changes in the way you look at things can help you make the changes needed to learn control of your emotions.
When we talk about anger, we are not talking a reasonable reaction to something that irritates; we are referring to the loss of control, the beserk reaction to a minor irritant. If you or someone you know becomes unreasonably angry over small problems then there is a problem that needs to be dealt with. There probably isn't a person alive that hasn't gotten unreasonably angry about something small at some point in time. The trick is to catch yourself before this happens and stop it or redirect it. This doesn't mean that you can't get angry, this means that you have to maintain control of yourself when you are furious because someone ate the last chocolate chip cookie that you wanted.
Make sure that what you are angry about is the total story. Getting angry about the cookie is unreasonable, getting angry because your diet foods were eaten by someone else is not as unreasonable, but still not realistic. If several small things like the above examples happen you are more likely to become unreasonably angry over the next small issue.
Avoiding letting small issues build up is a very large part of anger management. Talk out your problems rather than letting them build and fester. Let your co-worker know that you are not happy that they ate your lunch. Then drop it. It is a dead issue and unless repeated, the discussion does not need to be repeated.
When you feel yourself losing control, walk away, excuse yourself and leave the room. If possible, go for a walk, if not the bathroom is a good place to go and cool off. This doesn't mean go in the bathroom and steam and simmer, it means leave, decide if this issue is worth getting angry over, and leave it in the bathroom or on your walk.
Find out what makes you angry. Is it stress? Is it bad weather? No matter what it is, work on controlling yourself even more in situations you have no control over. Anger about things you have no control over is not a productive use of your time, or energy. If something that you do makes you angry then you are responsible for changing the action.
Find a phrase that helps you vent your anger that won't offend anyone who might hear you use it. Horse-feathers and butterfly toenails is a good example of the type of phrase we are talking about. It is unlikely to offend any one who hears it. It can relieve your frustration, which will allow you to then speak in a constructive manner about what has caused your irritation and anger.
Try to find the humorous side of a situation. Your boss just asked you to work overtime, and you had planned to take your wife to dinner, imagine what your wife's reaction would be if this happened every night for a month. She might get just a little bit angry, don't you think. Picture her spouting steam and flames at your boss as you tell him, yes you can, but you need to let your wife know so she won't wait for you. Your anger in this situation is not going to help you, your boss or your wife, accept that you can't change the situation without quitting your job, which as you hunt for another job will make you even more angry.
Anger is a controllable emotion, but will require some work. Learning to walk away, learning to redirect your anger with words and mental images, all takes practice. Learn to avoid situations, which cause undo stress and anger. You can learn to control your emotions.